Tag Archives: childhood

your journey begins from day 1(with post this time)

So recently I’ve been thinking about when exactly I began my spiritual journey, when I first began practising witchcraft and when these things first started appearing in my life.
The answer surprised me: it have always been present in my life.,

When I was a young child I would talk to spirits, of course people would call them my fantasy friends but unlike my friends fantasy friends I obviously couldn’t control mine or  choose how they should be. I would see and hear them and feel their presence. I don’t remember the individuals because there were so many but I do remember one. There was this dark shadow man that would sometimes appear to me. I was terrified of him and along with him came visions of knives. I remember one time when my younger brother, sister and I were out ringing door bells, as kids do. and his face was suddenly right in front of me, he was yelling. And I panicked screamed and turned around. Obviously that confused my brother and sister.
I also used to draw a lot, and I still do. I drew “fantasy” creatures. Fusions of animals and gave them names. There’s countless of drawings of these different animals. I’m not sure about them though.
And I would be deep in my own thoughts a lot. Which we ways got complaints off by the teachers. Though I didn’t fall behind in school at all. I learned to read way faster than the other kids and loved it!

But at some point I became very very paranoid and afraid of everything. I would lie awake in bed and not sleep because when I did sleep I had horrible nightmares. I was so afraid? Especially of the darkness because I could see things in it. I’m still afraid of the dark and I sleep with the light on.
So I became even more obsessed with the occult than I was in the first place.
I was for some reason insanely afraid of vampires and hung crosses up all over my room because I’d heard that would help also onions. Yes I hung onions up in my room.
I honestly can’t even remember like the next few years from there.
The thing that made me feel better and still do was to imagine I had a white positive shield around me. And then I would imagine a huge ball of positive bright light moving to the middle of the room and exploding, taking everything negative with it. And then I’d imagine white walls. It helped a bit. But only a bit. As I’m writing this I’m growing more and more uncomfortable. And I’m getting headaches. It wasn’t all dark though. I also believed in faeries and would invite them into my room. I also believed in Peter Pan and would leave offerings for tinkerbell+ friends. And I was very close with nature. I would talk to the trees and sing with the wind. And i got really mad when people cut in the trees. I also apologised to the trees if I accidentally grabbed a leaf and hurt them. I collected a lot of stones and crystals too. (I still love crystals)
I’m trying to re establish that connection I had.
One time we were supposed to cut some of the trees for making a fire and i got really really mad and refused to do it.

When we moved to Greenland with my dads new girlfriend I was also surrounded by magick. I would wander off in my own, even though that’s really not safe to do where we lived. The nature there is so stunning I won’t even try to describe it. You’re forced to interact with it because it is so so strong and demand to be noticed. And the houses where we lived were not build as stabile as the ones in Denmark, so the whole house would shake with the wind and there would almost always be really cold there.
We also had a ghost in the house there. Greenland really is a place where people still believe in the old myths and the “old beliefs” . There were tupilaq’s for everything. Much like rune magick. This figure will bring your enemies harm. This figure will protect you and your loved ones from all harm. Stuff like that. Those figures are amazing too. The people who carved them would wear traditional clothing and would come to our door. We almost always bought something. I also had a friend there whom had a ghost in her house as well. One she was very very close with.
I really want to visit there again someday. Hopefully I will have more positive experiences next time with more positive people.

When I got into my teenage years some things unfortunately happened so I lost my connection with nature and the spirits. It slowly disappeared
Because of a hell of a lot negativity. But I never ever doubted the existence of spirits or clairvoyance. I kept reading books about it.

I’ve also grown up with Loki. Although I of course didn’t know that back then.
But I was always told stories about him, and the other gods trough my childhood. Some of the myths I don’t even remember who told me and when I asked my mom yesterday if she remembered when I was small and she would tell me Norse myths. She said she didn’t know anything about the Norse myths and that she therefore hadn’t told me anything. And she also told me that I’ve always been interested in Norse mythology. Which I really don’t remember. So I suspect that my beloved trickster had a hand in on that. I’ve already made a post about this but I don’t think I did a very good job on it.
When I was about 11 I astral projected out of my body, and turned in the TVs. A person was sitting by my feet, and they were very familiar although I just brushed it off back then I now know why that person was familiar. That was Loki.

In the past few months it seems spirits have begun trying to get my attention again. Things will sometimes move in the kitchen and there will be strange energies.
I should really learn to use a pendulum because I can’t effing help them. +that would probably also make my communication with Loki a lot easier. (I am also currently learning about the runes)

I’m sorry if there’s grammar mistakes, I really don’t want to go over this, cause I’m a lazy fuck XD